IR should render exact same thing final production renderer does. So if you spend an hour building scene with IR, and then you hit final render button, you will get exactly 100% 1:1 what you've built in IR.
So:
1, Yes, it should render that Xref scene if final rendering mode renders it. If not, it should be considered a bug
2, If you isolate something, it should render isolated stuff only, because final rendering mode renders isolated stuff as well.
3, Hide by category is only viewport AFAIK, ignored for rendering, so that should remain ignored for IR as well.
In general IR is what it always should be - Interactive Renderer. Exactly the same thing as final renderer with only difference that you can move stuff around and change it without need to restart rendering and wait for translation. Of course Corona is not in the ideal state yet, but it's closest to ideal state from all the 3ds Max renderer plugins in my opinion.
Consider ideal state something like Unreal Engine, where you basically build the scene right in the renderer, without any seams. It saves a lot of time and greatly helps to reduce perception fatigue.
My dream is that one day Corona IR will allow us for workflow similar to these videos:
https://www.youtube.com/user/evilmrfrank/videos:)