The first post is a double negative ("doesn't not") so I am not entirely sure what you were requesting. You would like hidden objects to NOT affect a Distance Map? Or you would like them TO affect a Distance Map?
I am also not clear of the example you give about animated objects to turn lights on and off, can you explain, or show in a video would probably be best.
Right now, if an object is hidden, it continues to affect the distance map, which is the most useful set up as then you can have invisible controllers in the scene, e.g. you can slide a box closer to a light to make the light grow brighter or dimmer (and naturally you don't want the box to be seen in the render, it's just a controller), or use a simplified shape to drive any Distance Map effect with that parented to an (animated) more complex shape. Right now, I don't understand how a visible object would make a good controller for light intensity, or why that object would need to change it's hidden/unhidden status? If you need the object visible in the viewport (to control it), but invisible in the render, this can be done by unchecking the "Renderable" property of the object rather than hiding it.
Hmm, sorry for the bad explanation.
For what you explain with multiple controllers you can easily do this without a messy scene when they are visible. Just making all objects to be displayed as boxes and not renderable. They don't need to be hidden to not be renderered.
But in my scene, I have a wheel of fortune model with many lights around it, and I want to animate the lights in different ways, using boxes that are animated as distance map....I can't hide the lights as you suggest they are lightbulb models and they need to be visible, just showing different strengths of light. But the wheel lights has different behaviors, like circling lights, pulsating light etc. which I use different boxes for. But I then want to render animations with all these behaviors without having to set up multiple scenes, so it can be rendered in one sequence. In order to do that I wanted to hide the objects that are not being active at the current moment. But since the distance map renders all the hidden objects it's not possible. Best options would be to have a tick box in the material to give you the option to include hidden objects or not in my opinion, since you often build up complex scenes in max and turn layers on and off for different renders. I guess you guys don't see the problem, so I'll just find workrounds...