Hello again!
I tried to find the problem point for IR in my scenes. Worst case for me is case when I'm changing camera position or lens angle in exterior scenes - it takes really much time for IR to start refreshing picture. I made a lot of test excluding/including different types of objects from rendering. And the thing which I finally found is very simple - once I just switched view from the camera to the perspective everything has changed for me - IR SARTS TO FLY LIKE A BIRD when I turn/change viewpoint position! I tried this in different scenes and everywhere I've got the same result - whatever type of cameras I used (corona, vray, standard) they make IR/MAX to freeze for a while before refreshing starts, in perspective view refreshing starts almost immediately. For example for one of my exterior scenes with quite normal amount of green stuff for my projects (a lot of trees, big areas of grass, forest on background, areas filled with cobblestone (scattered with ForestPack) and cars) time from change-to-picture refreshing was 26 seconds from camera, and 1.5 seconds if I used perspective view!
In my cases problem is FP with active Camera->Limit to visibility ON. If you use camera this function is working and every time you change something concerning camera FP rebuilds all it's objects and it makes Max to freeze. If you use perspective view this function doesn't work.
The reason why I didn't realize that FP is the biggest problem here is that even if FP objects are NOT renderable FP REBUILDS it's objects anyway. They are not visible in viewport while IR is active, but FP still makes rebuilding and it freezes Max. If FP objects are not renderable and hidden from viewport picture starts refresh immediately.
I use layers properties to manage what is renderable what is not for big things such as trees and grass (mostly scattered with FP), but I didn't hide these layers, only made them not renderable and for work with camera position/properties using IR it was critical for IR's feedback. So, for me solution is to hide FP objects if they are not renderable (like grass) when I work with camera and avoid Limit to visibility function of objects which are important for picture composition, but could be switch on automatically when FP object was created (like trees)
I know, it doesn't solve all problems described above, but maybe this information can help to someone who works using the same way as I do