Ok, ok, no need to shout :] I can't know everyone's level of expertise, sorry for asuming that you don't know the basics.
Triplanar in AO is working in 3ds Max (see attached example*), so it definitely should work in C4D too. If you sure that it's not working, then report it as a bug.
* - on the left is regular mapping (notice texture streching), on the right is triplanar.