You did your research well and you are right with all your assumptions, while your vendor is not. I will add some further comments:
- Noctua NH-U14s is the best cooler for 3rd-gen Threadripper. It does its job the best on 3990X, but works decently well on 3970X and 3960X as well. The average temperatures in open-bench at 20C ambient is like (60C/70C/80C).
- AIO do work only for 3960X and 3970X because they have chiplets in middle of chip under heatspreader. Despite that, the Noctua NH-U14s is still better choice.
- You don't need second fan on NH-U14s, it's very narrow heatsink with no issue of static pressure. Second fans only add pressure, that's why they come with thick D14 and U12a. On NH-U14s, it only helps by 1-2C, but increase noise due to turbulence (same decibel rating, but very annoying sound). Some people are ok with this, I dislike it a lot and I tried lot of setups on U14.
-Fractal Define 7XL is good choice for big CPU + 2xGPUs + silence. It's definitely the only case which lets you add 3x140mm fans in front. The BeQuit while similarly silent, has pretty bad issues with hot-air recirculation due to that whole around the case connected chamber. The design is just not ideal.
-Define series can add up to 10C to internal temperatures with the closed front panel, so make sure to actually populate all 3x140 slots (or 3x120) in front as counter-measure.
Don't buy 2x2080ti. Single 3090 is better choice by a lot. Unfortunately it's nowhere to buy in Europe.. specially the best version, FE from nVidia (the best because it puts 40perc. of heat directly out of case, good thing for Threadripper, esp. with dual-GPU setup. It's effectively semi-blower design).
If you absolutely need GPUs right now, buy single 3080 if you can find it for correct price (close to MSRP), or second hand 2080ti for 500 Euro maximum.
I've had my 3960X doing 20 to 40 hour animation renders with no problem, if that's a reassurance on how well the Noctua does.
And Tom lives in Texas for what it's worth :- )