he Guys, thanks for your help
In the end I didn't find out how to do it, so I put the backplate further to the back so light could pass between it. Not ideal I know, but I just didn't have enough time to figure it out.
I'm attaching a simplified test scene with a backplate closing the terrace entirely, so effects are visible easily.
1) enabling shadows in the backplate compositing tag obviously prevents skylight from coming in.
2) disabling shadows in the backplate compositing tag, makes skylight come in, but renders the backplate black
3) removing the compositing tag is back to 1
4) disabling occude other lights in the light material allows skylight in again but renderes the backplate overexposed.
5) also disabling light emmission in the light material is the desired effect for me, but I didn't think to do that too last night... i haven't had much sleep last week :-D