You can try to group close by lights until you hit the magical 255 light group limit, then it will render faster again, provided lights are not too far apart.
Obvious alternative is as you mentioned the unfourtane solution of per camera light toggel.
I know 3dsmax batch tool can toggle stuff like this easily with couple of check boxes, but I don't know the compatibility with your renderfarm.
(Hopefully)Less then a month away from 1.4 release, which will solve that problem once and for all.